The

Mortuary

• Wipe-R-BUT
  1. Scrubbed to death by sadistic ScrubBot
  2. Tuck & rolled off a giant rubber ducky plummeting toward the bowels of Alpha Complex. Landed on a landing platform. (that's good!) At high velocity. (that's bad!)
  3. While Wipe was glued to the back of a spider tank, a giant mutantspider decided to give the tank some "sweet lovin'." Wipe was crushed.
  4. Head was ziffed off by the industrial sized version of the Computer's'Better Mousetrap.' The goop head replacement was less than effective.
  5. Brashly charged 'Han Solo' style into a hallway full of hungry velociraptor dinosaurs blazing away with his laser. The dinos ripped him to bits.
  6. Another clone misused R&D equipment. Wipe the sixth was baked by the anti-matter shockwave.
  
  
• Elvis-R-ATE
  1. Failed to report to termination center as ordered. Still at large.
  2. Tried to tuck & roll off a falling giant rubber ducky. Duck in question was moving very fast. Landed badly on a landing platform.
  3. James Earl Jones, while wearing a bucket on his head, cut Elvis in two with a thrown force sword.
  4. Shot in the back of the head by the treasonous team leader who was sneaking off to do more treasonous things.
  5. Closely observed the trouble with mislabeling the 'seconds' dial as 'minutes' on a tac-nuke.
  6. Got stuck to the wall of the debriefing room with duct tape.The briefing room was then decommisioned and never used again.
  
  
• Mist-R-SCR
  1. Trampled to death by a crowd fleeing the set of the popular game show, "Spot the Commie"
  2. Took a long walk out of a short elevator. Found out what the bottom of the shaft looked like.
  
  
• Chicken-R-DED
  1. Achieved escape velocity and is now presumed to be orbiting the Outdoors
  
  
• Eye-R-ESS
  1. Permitted a fictional traitor to hypothetically escape. Terminated.
  
  
• Toyz-R-USS
  1. Immolated by whacked out clone wielding incendiary cone rifle shells
  2. Stared at the buisiness end of a particle cannon
  3. Frozen by "Cold Fun", bounced across the room, and finally trampled
  4. Asked the Computer, "If you're perfect, why do you need us?" Summary disintegration.
  5. Shot down by commies while fighting for PURGE
  6. Was last seen exclaiming, "I hate you Computer! I hope your circuits rust!" Vanished without a trace
  
  
• Amo-R-RON
  1. Death by giant rubber ducky (the same one as everyone else.)
  2. Gave his life saving a Jacko-bot from a vat of dessert topping with whirling mixing blades
  3. Destroyed a robot head in front of the group. (Bad Idea)
  4. Wrecked warbot controls and released a spleen-eating mutant clone
  
  
• Eve-R-RDY
  1. Still Alive?!
  
  
• Zo-R-CHA
  1. Decapitated by a flailing elevator cable that he was trying to eat.
  2. Wounded an amorous tentacle and was promptly crushed by it.
  
  
• Big-R-GUN
  1. Shot self in head because of hand written billboard instructing him to do so
  2. Jumped out of a moving train in attempt to save mini-computer
  3. Walked on blue hallway (river), flew by the glorious will of the computer, then suddenly stopped by sharp bits of wall.
  4. Smothered by falling bits of dirty Ourdoors wall.
  5. Metal sphere drilled into head, assimilated temporarily into the divinity of the computer, then head blew up.
  
  
• Mote-R-MTH
  1. Swung his spanner through a doorbot monitor while attempting repairs.
  2. Rode a treasonous train car to the disintegration chamber.
  3. Fell off a waterfall in the Outdoors.
  4. Responded to playful poke from spear with a zap to the offending party's head. Poking was resumed with more enthusiasm.
  5. Exploded by thrice redirected cone rifle shell.
  6. Demoted to IR, to work in the food vats. Forever.
  
  
• Bee-R-MAN
  1. Tossed a mini computer and a terrorist scanning computer out of a train window and was terminated for terrorism.
  2. Fell off a waterfall after the raft capsized.
  3. Nuked at entrance of badguy complex.
  4. Escaped at debreifing and is currently on the lamb.
  
  
• Race-R-EKS
  1. Got too smart, broke too much computer property, killed for treason.
  2. Tried to recover BTECH, but was unsuccessful resulting in his eventual demise.
  3. Nuked and buried in crumbling cave.
  4. Public execution after spouting copious commie propaganda at debriefing.
  
  
• DrunkI-R-ISH
  1. Beaten to death by a crowd for being late to a meeting, therefore a traitor.
  2. In a train that was incinerated
  3. Fell off a waterfall
  4. Tried killing orange citizen and was rightfully poked by many sharp sticks.
  5. Nuked in bad guy complex.
  6. Killed for defacing computer property.